I will choose free will

A few weeks ago I purchased the 30th anniversary edition of Faces of Death. When I told Chris that I bought it, he just rolled his eyes and shook his head at me in the way that silently conveys, "You disgust me." So I think I can safely add "Purchased 30th anniversary edition of Faces of Death" to my ever-lengthening list of Things I Thought My Boyfriend Would Love About Me That He, In Fact, Resents

Here's part of the list:

Things I Thought My Boyfriend Would Love About Me That He, In Fact, Resents

1. Am not embarrassed to fart out loud, and rather am very amused with myself
2. Wall-shakingly loud belching ability
3. Can make a fart noise with my arm pit
4. Love Quiet Riot, and have met them in person, and have a signed, framed picture of them, and the drummer, Frankie Banali, told me he liked my mullet t-shirt
5. Thought it would be funny to get a mistletoe belt for Christmas time
6. Think it's funny to shimmy every time I take off my shirt in front of him
7. Have the following movies memorized: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls, Old School, Anchorman, Wayne's World, Zoolander, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison
8. Asked for a Storm Trooper costume for my 26th birthday

Strangely enough, want to know what impresses guys every single time without fail? The fact that I know A LOT about the band Rush. It works time after time. So all you single ladies, get to Wikipedia and pick yourself a favorite Rush song that isn't "Tom Sawyer". You'll thank me later.